April 2011
25 posts
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
– Samuel Beckett, “Worstward Ho.”
(This quote is apparently famous, but I’d never heard it before.)
March 2011
23 posts
Anthony Bourdain: Discovery cancelled "Brew... →
Corporate beer rears its ugly head to get the Dogfish Head TV show cancelled. Just lovely.
Craft beer is really small: about 7% in dollars and 4% in volume of the total U.S. beer market. Why are these assholes trying to make life so hard for people who can’t even begin to compete with them?
Even though I don’t have a ton of money, I always take the $2-3 hit to buy my beer from craft...
Sheryl Crow's new cookbook is called "If It Makes... →
Did no one at the publisher remember the lyrics?
If it makes you healthy
It can’t be that bad
If it makes you healthy
Then why the hell are you so sad?
(Because it doesn’t taste all that good.)
“ohh scorpio! yum :)”
– I seriously don’t understand what about my astrological sign could possibly be delicious, or how this person thought this message (which appears in its totality) would be the perfect way to win me over. “Um, yes, you’re right. My astrological sign is totally great. What is the...
“When I think about it, many of the things I love the most were created by people...”
– This is lovely.
I prefer to offer other, more public reasons for my antipathy, but I think one of my main rationales for not living in New York is the fact that I will never truly know the restaurants. In SF, a few years of regular reading, light research, and word of mouth have given me a fairly solid opinion on all the major restaurants in town, even if I haven’t dined at them myself. (If you know a San...
4 tags
Modern dating: a transcript
I met [Redacted] through OKCupid; we went on, I think, seven dates, and then he stopped returning texts and e-mails. All of these e-mails are real.
Saturday, February 26, 2:42 am
Hey Allie!
I’m sorry I didn’t get your message until late tonight - my phone has been problematic to say the least. I’m basically free Saturday afternoon, I’ll give you a call!
...
Did the pub quiz date last night, but ended up pulling most of the weight on the questions, and we got absolutely slaughtered. I figured a guy with music notes tatted up and down his arm would help in the music round, but we went one for ten (at least I can still recognize “Xanadu.”) My greatest score of the night was picking out Molly Ivins from a photo, but it was a minor victory....
::phone rings 20 times::
Bartender: Hello, Toronado.
Me: Hi, I think I lost a hat at the bar a few weeks ago, and I was calling to see if you had it.
Bartender: I don’t know. You can come down and look for yourself. I’m busy right now.
::click::
Me (to dial tone): Well, fuck you too.
Seriously, I called at 5 pm on a Tuesday. You’re too busy to look one minute for...
"Perhaps in return I can only say that in all the... →
I tended to side more with A.O. Scott, but I will agree that Michael Phillips has a lovely speaking voice. Right on, Abbas.
I’m going on a first date tonight to pub quiz at Edinburgh Castle, which I’m not so sure is a good idea. In case you have never played a trivia game with me, I am the kind of person who will yell at you when you talk over the announcer during a question, and will be sore for days afterward because you INSISTED that the capital of Vermont was Burlington when I know perfectly well it is...
Millennials are not eating canned soup; Campbell's... →
This is because we figured out that it is basically a liquid salt lick. Thanks, Internet!™
“hey wsup! so a lil bout me im 22, asian, about 5’8. i guess ppl would say...”
– My OKCupid inbox is a source of constant insight into humanity’s deep and enduring stupidity.
This guy’s apparent thought process: “I don’t want to post a photo on this social-networking site that is based almost entirely on photos, but I could send you a photo if you want....
Chris got laid off again yesterday. We went drinking and I have a really bad hangover this morning.
I literally wept a tear of gratitude when the other person in the office bathroom washed their hands, then walked out without using the “Excelerator Excel Dryer.”
They don’t put paper towels in the restrooms, so to the lady in the office with wet hands, let me recommend my...
“Hello my name is Patrick how was ur day today and by the way u are beautiful....”
– A typical OKCupid message. His profile is also a gem, though he appears to be a native English speaker, which is seriously concerning. 